Thursday, December 09, 2010

Under the sun

I should probably move to tumblr. But i like it here.
So i've been thinking, about life and everything. Truthfully, i love my life right now. I am where i'm supposed to be and i won't have it any other way. I like how i am, i like that I'm back to my old self. I'm just happy.
Really, its all thanks to my friends who remind me everyday that i'm really better off. And seeing how i am now, i really am better off. I get to do pretty much whatever i want, meet new people, random outings with random people.
I can't be any happier.
Last of all, i have the bestest best friend who's more like a sister whom i wouldn't know what to do without.
I love you Nur Afiqah binte Kamsani.

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Mind surfing.

A lot has changed since my last post.
There are a few kinds of people i pity, the real poor ones, the disabled, the unlucky ones and the ones who has a choice but chose to suffer. And i promised myself to never let myself be suffering because of the choice i made.
I do have a choice, so why does it feel like i don't?
I look back figuring out where i could have gone wrong. This wasn't how i thought things would turn out to be.
But if we could give it another go... It'll be different.

Tuesday, October 05, 2010


I haven't been completely honest. And i pride myself on how honest i am. But i guess there's just some thing some people should never know about.
Anyway, the last few days has been like a survival test for me and surprisingly i survived. The secret is to not think of it. Like everytime you feel like you're about to think about it you just dont. It helps if theres a super hot guy to think about/fantasize.
My uncle has been coming over everyday in the morning bringing food that would in fact make me fat. Or fatter than i am now.
Today he brought donuts. There goes my diet plan.
Not that i have a diet plan. My diet plans usually dont include exercising because i dont want to sweat. So i just starve myself.
I realise how open ive been about my feelings compared to like 2 years ago. I dont like talking about my feelings and ever since... Its all i talk about here.
Okay bye

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Cracks in our foundation

We often forget how good the world has been to us. We're wrong about the world being unfair and whatever bad happens, somehow somewhere, someone is going to come along and make it worthwhile for us again.
Its all about balance.
If you want to survive in this world, balance is all you need.

Wednesday, September 01, 2010

Pour them

My diary got lost somewhere in the many boxes that i have to get shipped over to the new house. And i need to let it all out and this is the only place i could. Since its already dead anyway, i can prolly write anything i want. Maybe not in detail but at least in my mind it is.
So my hamster got a little bigger since he bought it for me. I think i feed him too much, i mean i rather have a fat hamster that a skinny bones gray hamster.
Actually its no use. Cause i really need to like write everything down but i cant cause im thinking about the people who might or might not read this blog. I NEED MY DIARY!
Oh i need a new diary. My current one is running out of pages and my brain is overloading with things no one else should know but me and maybe this other certain someone who likes to secretly take it when he's over.
Anyway, im just hoping that i'll have a good dream tonight. Maybe something kinky. Which i dont usually dream about... Not saying that i do...

Monday, August 30, 2010

Security Issues

I'm a very paranoid person. My thoughts, they wonder to the unknown and it bothers me. Sometimes im just afraid it might actually happen. So really, I'm afraid of myself. And i dont want to be anymore. I only hope that he is going to help me.

Friday, August 20, 2010

Thats all it takes

All it took was for me to be alone.
Today, i just thought i needed some time for myself. And it really did help. I always thought i hated being alone. But thinking about it, i'm alone most of the time. In my mind i am. So really, it isnt that bad if you actually think about it.
I'm tired actually. I doing this post just so i can practice on my english. HAHAHA. OKAY BYE